bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
