just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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