I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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