I wish I could teleport
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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