There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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