I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
