whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
