Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
