i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
