you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
