I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
