I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
