how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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