sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
