hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
