I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
