OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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