You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
