If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
