dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?