Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
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Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.