i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dating After Heartbreak
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay