I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
