Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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