we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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