Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
