If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
there is glitter all over my balls
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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