I don't usually arrange sex via text message
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
