I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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