Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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