I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
