I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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