love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
