you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pants are for mortals
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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