they need to just BURY HIM!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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