If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
