Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
