I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize