Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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