my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
only you would photoshop your dick
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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