I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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