yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
