so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize