IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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