So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
