Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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