you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
