goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
