No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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