I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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