Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
