Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
