I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize