Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
