We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
