i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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