oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
