i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
