Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dear god my vagina.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
