Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
