I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
