Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
