guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
