next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
