And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize