I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
