I've blown a few things in my day
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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