Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She needs sedatives and a leash
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
