my sisters under your porch take her home
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
